Personality

Took one of those personality tests:

 

Your personality type is ISFP.
Introverted (I) 71%Extraverted (E) 29%
Sensing (S) 77%Intuitive (N) 23%
Feeling (F) 65%Thinking (T) 35%
Perceiving (P) 68%Judging (J) 32%

Seems about right.

ISFPs generally have the following traits:

• Keen awareness of their environment
• Live in the present moment
• Enjoy a slower pace – they like to take time to savor the present moment
• Dislike dealing with theory or abstract thought, unless they see a practical application
• Faithful and loyal to people and ideas which are important to them
• Individualistic, having no desire to lead or follow
• Take things seriously, although they frequently appear not to
• Special bond with children and animals
• Quiet and reserved, except with people they know extremely well
• Trusting, sensitive, and kind
• Service-oriented; they’re driven to help others
• Extremely well-developed appreciation for aesthetic beauty
• Likely to be original and unconventional
• Learn best with hands-on training
• Hate being confined to strict schedules and regimens
• Need space and freedom to do things their own way
• Dislike mundane, routine tasks, but will perform them if necessary

“The ISFP is a very special individual who needs to have a career which is more than a job. The middle of the road is not likely to be a place where they will be fulfilled and happy. They need to have a career which is consistent with their strong core of inner values. Since they prefer to live in the current moment, and take the time to savor it, they do not do well with some of the more fast-paced corporate environments. They need a great deal of space and freedom if they are going to function in their natural realm of acute sensory awareness. If they give free reign to their natural abilities, they may find a wonderful artist within themselves. Almost every major artist in the world has been an ISFP. Since the ISFP is so acutely aware of people’s feelings and reactions, and is driven by their inner values to help people, the ISFP is also a natural counselor and teacher.”

Bolded the ones that I thought were dead on.

Anyway, off to Los Angeles again to go to the Ohio State vs USC game. I’ll have a big update when I come back including my biggest poker day of my life last Sunday!

Take care and be safe, especially those in Texas…

Fantasy Football

It’s almost the end of August and that means football season is coming up! Because I’m living near California I know I’ll be able to attend my first 49er game in almost a decade and because we’re located near Arizona and San Diego as well, I know many road trips are on the horizon…

I also joined a live Fantasy Football league in Las Vegas. In the past I’ve always had an online league with some of my childhood friends, but I rarely paid attention to it because there was nothing on the line. Well, this year I decided to join a money league so I “studied” up for the draft more than I’ve ever had before – I guess I’m finally a fantasy football nerd. Ha! The league is made up of all Vegas locals and all serious poker players (the host and organizer even asked if any of us held a “real job” and was met with complete silence), which was to be expected, I guess, because I found out about this league off of twoplustwo – a poker message board and a source where I’ve probably learned the most from.

I wanted to join a live league just so I could meet some friends. Because I’m not in school any more and I’m in a profession that requires no co-workers, meeting people has been more challenging than I anticipated(I’ve never really acquired the social skills my brother has either ). I think meeting 10 other people that play poker for a living and love football can only be a good thing. I had already recognized some of their names as well… a few of them, while not famous “pros,” are already quite established in the poker community.

And I have to admit that going to this draft night has rekindled my desire to achieve something in these next two years. I saw the ginormous televisions, the $4000 computer setup – complete with 3 monitors – and the “balla” (as they would call it) house and I know this is something that the typical 20 year old poker player strives for. But it’s something greater than that too. The way a couple of these players carry themselves… so full of confidence, but not arrogant. To know you’re actually an expert at something, even a simple game, has to be quite fulfilling.  To live that free life and wake up to a job that you love doing has to be satisfying.

I re-evaluate my own game constantly and while I’m creeping back up the sharkscope leaderboard for sit n go’s, there’s still a lot of room for me to improve. I still haven’t made the full plunge into live games, to deeper stack tournaments (as opposed to turbos – fast structures, which I play) and to other forms of poker like Omaha or Stud. In order to be a complete player I know that’s something I will have to address in these two years. And I think meeting players that are far above me serves for great motivation. I talked to a couple of them and I have the feeling that I can learn a great deal if I just stick around. I know I can better learn the nuances of live play and make the climb toward bigger games. I’ve always believed many potentially good players leave a lot on the table because they fail to talk to greater players either due to laziness or ego.

Sometimes I take a too lackadaisical approach to my poker game. While it is entertainment, it’s also at this point in my life my career. And while I’d never want to lose my fun-loving approach to this game or make my sole focus a financial one, I think I can inject a little more of a serious approach to the game while I’m at the table. August was, yet again, the greatest poker month of my life. Hence, the lack of updates . But tonight reminded me just how much further I can go and what I can realistically strive for in my time in Las Vegas.

 

 

 

 

 

A leap of faith!

I’ve always had a fear of heights, even if that fear has been somewhat remedied in the past few years. Three years ago I went on some roller coasters in Florida and learned that I could (somewhat) enjoy it. Still, I’m the guy that holds his breath when the airplane hits a little turbulence.

So naturally I decided that I wanted to go skydiving. I’m not exactly sure when I decided jumping out of a plane 15,000 feet above the ground would be a good idea, but I scheduled it for this past Friday. (Looking back though, I think it was more like “pushed” off the plane anyway)

I was scheduled to “jump” from Jean Airport – roughly 30 miles from the Strip – around 8am, but I arrived a good 20 minutes before anyone else. Staying up all night in anticipation had me ready to go (it also gave me a chance to get in a great poker session, but that would have been irrelevant had things not gone as planned =p). I met Joe (the trainer that I was going to be jumping with) and he had me fill out a waiver saying I wouldn’t sue if I died or got injured. As if that would even matter if I died…

We waited for the rest of the jumpers while I paced around the room. Most of the trainers were easily accessible. Joe told me that he had been doing this for about four years and had over 400 jumps as a trainer. And he may have been the least experienced. All the instructors had an immense amount of experience; one even kept a book with a signature from everyone that successfully completed a jump with him (almost 6000). I didn’t have the guts to ask if there were any blank names. Joe, sending nervousness, tried to make small talk reassuring me that no one had actually gotten seriously hurt at this location. He asked me, “How long are you in Vegas for?”

I told him, “I live here. So… two years.” And what did I do for a living? “I play poker.”

“Wow. Risky,” he said, not smiling. Right, I’m the risk taker!

Eventually more people arrived, all of them first time jumpers too. A good thing. Most of us exchanged smiles trying to mask our fears. We were trained for about fifteen minutes before boarding, which felt entirely too short for something like skydiving. But Joe assured me that he was the one doing all the work and all I had to do was essentially not sabotage us. That still didn’t make me feel better.

The trainers, all of them I learned, have a sick sense of humor. As we boarded the plane they went through, what I assume, their standard routine.

“Man, I missed my therapy meeting this week.”

“You know you’re not supposed to skip those… ever since the incident.”

“Well, I heard she’s finally breathing on her own again.”

Funny stuff, but that did nothing for my nerves as I was about to take a plunge three miles downward. Heck, I can’t remember the last time I even ran three miles.

As we got higher in the air though I felt an unexpected sense of calmness run through me. The night before I was thinking about how nervous I got the time I went to the top of the Stratosphere. My palms were sweaty just from envisioning actually getting onto a plane and having the door open. But I guess my fear was worse before I actually confronted it. Or maybe being strapped to a professional made it easier to handle. Or maybe I just accepted that any mishap was out of my hands at this point. Poker taught us not to be results oriented, right?

I gave a thumbs up to the camcorder attached to my instructor. I stared into it and claimed that I was ready for this. I even let out a short yell demonstrating my confidence for everyone to see.

But as the door opened and I saw my fellow jumpers being pushed off the plane, I felt the panic creep back in. If you watch the video (and I’ll gladly show you), Joe is basically pushing me towards the opening while I’m holding onto the sides with a stone face as if I’m being forced to my death. In my mind, maybe I was.

And as we crawled closer to the door, I dared not look down. I did what I was instructed to do and put my head up and held onto the straps of my suit. I think I was getting ready to tell Joe that I was ready when he just lurched forward forcing both of us off the plane.

The fall was incredible. All my past fears, my self doubts and disappointments were let out with one scream. I yelled louder than any football game I’ve attended and any roller coaster I’ve ridden. It was liberating, to say the least. Eventually my shrieks of fear turned into that of pure excitement. It was seriously the most adrenalin I’ve felt in my life, the most exhilarating, sensational fall I could have imagined. The 45 seconds that we fell at over 120 MPH before the parachute exploded opened gave me a chance to be refreshed. I was away from the imposters at the poker table, away from the judges and away from the fakeness that accompanies living in Vegas. I could just yell as loud as I possibly could. And it felt damn good.

Once the chute opened I felt as if I were just floating in the sky. There was a certain sense of serenity as I tried to take in my surroundings. It probably took another two minutes or so to actually land, but it felt much slower as we drifted to wherever Joe was taking us. And once we landed I felt a giddiness that I haven’t felt in years. I accomplished something, even if that something was obeying the laws of gravity.

That afternoon I flew back to Texas to visit family. It’s only been two and a half months since I’ve left my home, but it definitely feels a lot longer. I didn’t even tell my parents that I was planning to sky dive; I wanted to just show them the DVD when I saw them. The plane ride back was smooth. We did hit a small patch of turbulence on the way, but I just laughed it off this time. As my cousin told me: The last time you were on a plane… you had to jump off of it!

The Ten Things I’ve Learned From Poker

  This post is inspired by my cousin Wade. He’s usually good inspiration for a lot of my posts and in one of our many chats, we started listing a bunch of life lessons we’ve learned from our trade – video games for Wade and poker for me. We decided to do a simul-post, but predictably I fell behind and am posting late.

 

   I’ve written this bit a couple of times and I always seem to come back to it and revise it every year or so as my perspectives change. It’s always funny to read old posts just to see what I focused on in the past and how much my thinking has changed. But it’s just as fun to know how many lessons and thoughts have stayed the same through my progression as a poker player and as a person. I originally created the list with Fausto in one of our many musings about the game of poker. So a lot of these ideas are just as much his thoughts as they are mine…

So here are the top ten things I’ve learned from poker:

 

1. Don’t be results oriented: If I learn nothing else from poker, I won’t forget this lesson (I think poker players understand variance much better than your average joe because of it). Results don’t matter; only your decisions do. In poker you can play your hand completely correctly and still be beaten by a drunken maniac. That’s irrelevant because if you keep making good decisions you will win in the long run. In poker you can’t control the cards you’re dealt, only how you play them. So forget about the result of any individual hand and move onto the next one. But at the same time…

 

2. Never forget your past actions: For better or for worse, they’ve made you what you are now and you should embrace that. In poker, if you don’t pay attention to the previous hand, many of the actions in the current hand will be misinterpreted. I think I added this one in after an incident where I lost a couple of my best friends because of my stubbornness and passiveness. I used to try and forget it, but that’s a mistake. I’ve learned from that incident and am confident in my ability to take that missed read and make sure I nail it next time.

 

3. Be honest to yourself: Poker is about honesty? Isn’t it about bluffs and deception? Well, it is, but before you can deceive your opponent you must know yourself fully. You have to be honest about your skill level, be brutally truthful about what will and what won’t work and be in control of your emotions. Many people make the mistake of assuming the game is about having a “poker face” and being emotionless. But again, before you can do all that you must truly understand what makes you angry, happy and sad. The strongest players are the ones that have emotional control and that all starts with being able to assess yourself objectively and honestly.

 

4. Bad runs last longer than you think: Fausto always tells me that the difference between good and great players is not that one makes more mistakes than others, but that one recovers faster. Winning tournaments only feels so fulfilling because losing felt so empty. The world doesn’t owe you fairness and it doesn’t have to do anything to make up for past ills. You always find out how good a poker player is during the bad stretches and I think you learn a lot about your character in life during the shaky times as well. Because, going back to the first one, you are helpless to many results, but you can stay confident and stable anyway. But at the same time…

 

5. You are always in control: In a game defined by uncertainty and educated guesses, you are ultimately in control. There’s no boss in poker. No start or finish to the game. You control how long you play and what games to play in. You control if you go on tilt when you take a bad beat or when a player angle shoots you. So while the short run is clouded with uncertainty, the winning player will always be in control of his destiny if he chooses to play long enough. I’ve been told that a poker life is unstable, but I think stability comes from the mind and how you handle such uncertainties. I’ve also been told that the poker world is lonely, but again, I think it’s up to the individual to make that decision.

 

6. Be open minded: I’ve heard this countless times at a table: “I can’t beat that idiot. I can only beat good players.” This is crazy. There are two things that can be happening. 1. You’re playing well and variance is taking over. 2. You aren’t exploiting your bad opponent by making adjustments. In poker and in life, you must learn that very few things are set in stone. There are exceptions to your life “strategies” and if you just follow strict guidelines, you may do well, but you will be crushed in certain situations. It’s always more important to learn to think rather than to copy. Just because you read a situation a certain way does not mean that’s the only way to interpret it. Always be ready to accept a new idea.

 

7. Be aggressive: I always tell beginners that it’s better to be too aggressive than too passive. Do not be a passenger in life. You must dictate what you want to happen rather than idly let fate decide. If you’re unsure whether you can do the job, bear down and raise anyway. So many pots are lost because one failed to have the courage to step up and make a bet. I’ve always believed that if you’re going to fail, make sure you fail on your terms.

 

8. Things aren’t as good or as bad as they seem: When things aren’t going well, don’t get down. And when you win every coin flip in life, don’t feel so invincible. It is usually a matter of perspective. Luck evens out over the long run and your situation is usually not as helpless or as perfect as it seems. Likewise, your opponents and obstacles in life are not as impossible or as simple as they may first appear. In fact, from my experience most people are just as nervous and clueless as you are; they just hide it from you.

 

9. Never reveal everything you know. Otherwise, y’all would beat me. J

The Dark Knight

   Wow, Fausto and I saw the midnight showing of The Dark Knight (no IMAX cause we stalled before buying tickets unfortunately) and I just have to say that I was blown away by Heath Ledger’s performance of The Joker. They absolutely nailed the character and his sadistic, psychopath ways…

   I was worried that the movie would be overhyped and that Ledger’s performance would be exaggerated because of his death (RIP), but all the hype is deserved. I couldn’t have imagined a better Joker; he really stole the show.

   Too tired to write a real review and I’m leaving later today to Los Angeles again to see family and watch the Mixed Martial Arts Affliction event, so I’ll just end with if you haven’t seen it, go see it!

Losing…

 

“The strong point in poker is never to lose your temper, either with those you are playing with or, more particularly, with the cards. There is no sympathy in poker. Always keep cool. If you lose your head you will lose all your chips.” – William J. Florence

 

   When you gamble for a living you will inevitably run into long stretches of losing and winning. It is the nature of variance. There are times when things are going so well and the game feels remarkably easy, but then there are always going to be those valleys, those low points where you question every decision you make and everything you know about the game.

 

   And it is my belief that a poker player’s skill should never be judged until he touches on both of these extremes. Your resolve is tested when you lose more than you thought possible – and then lose even more. Your humility is tested when you are winning every coin flip. I’ve seen both extremes crush players that are more talented than I will ever be.

 

   Don’t worry. I’m not on a losing streak at the moment. I did start July off on the wrong side of variance where I lost every game I played at the casino and most games where I played online. But you know, I didn’t even get frustrated which I think shows I am maturing as a player.

 

   Fausto and I even have a joke. “How much are you down?”

 

   “Like $600. But in theory I’m up like $1000.” J

 

   But I think it’s important to keep things in perspective. If I am to report my tournament hits, the times I’m running people over and the times where all my reads are correct, I have to talk about the times where things are going completely wrong. There have been times I have been bluffed out of big pots on poor reads after I missed an obvious tell (happened at Venetian this week). But that’s okay! Because I’ve learned that what separates me from an amateur or me from two years ago is that I can shrug these moments off now. Each decision is independent and once you get past the level where you feel the game owes you something or that you “deserve” a pot, you learn not to feel angry and never be on tilt. So if I’m to be judged as a poker player, I want it to be during the down times because that’s when my true skill will shine. And sometimes just knowing this is even more satisfying than winning.

My home!

Pictures of the place for those interested

Desk setup

 

Fausto at work

 

Giant Beanbag!

Poker book collection

 

Computer cat!!!

Tetris guarding the blinds

 Happy (early) July 4th to everyone! I’ll be in Los Angeles for the weekend.

Whew! I haven’t posted in awhile.

 

   It has been a month since I’ve moved here and I have yet to be arrested or mugged so I’m considering that a win. I’m really settling into a routine here, so I hope I can keep up with this blog better. I want to have many stories to share.

 

  So far, playing poker professionally has been smooth. About halfway through the month I went through a stretch where I barely played at all. I made a promise to myself that I would never play the game if I didn’t have the desire to. I really don’t want to look at poker like a job or dread having to put the hours in. Therefore, I really only play when I’m psyched up to go which is best for my performance and enjoyment level. That being said, I fully expect to get in a lot more hours in July. Summer months are best and I’ve been preparing myself for a good run.

 

   Last week I won my biggest tournament of my short career! It’s such an amazing feeling when you take one down, no matter how big or little you’re playing for. It was only a $10 buy in (online), but there were 928 entrants. Most of my victories come from significantly smaller fields so this one felt special. I’d love to be able to say how great I played or how I outsmarted everyone but I really got lucky along the way and I don’t think I played any differently than I usually do so I guess you could say it was just my time. But I think any individual success comes from a lucky bounce, but the point is to keep putting yourself in a position to get “lucky.” If you keep showing up to work on the dull days, you’ll eventually do something big. The biggest winners in life always do.

 

   A few things I have noticed: The transition to playing live and playing for a living changes your approach a lot – more than I expected. My actual poker skill is not that much stronger than other players, but I think I’m better prepared. I never play tired. I don’t drink and I don’t let my ego get involved during hands. These little things are what separate a good recreational player with one that can make it for a living. It’s things like altering my sleep schedule so I’m wide awake for the 12pm or 8pm daily tournaments at the Venetian. Or it’s something more subtle like wearing my University of Texas shirt when I want to appear like a visitor and wearing glasses to appear less threatening. You learn to pick up on the small things too. I’ve learned to trust my read on people more: how to sense weakness or nervousness or know when someone is at the table to show off and “bluff” because it’s the cool thing to do.

 

   I think if June was a transition and feeling out month, July will tell me and Fausto a lot about what to expect here. Even if we can’t play in the World Series of Poker this year, we know that getting as much experience as we can in this coming year will make us even more prepared for the 2009 World Series. So here’s to a successful month and an even better July!

A relaxing weekend…

   Life has been very laid back this past week, a little lazy even, but I mean that in a good way. Sometimes I get overly concerned with trying to cram everything into a daily schedule and make sure I’m occupied with productive activities and I forget to just hang around and reflect on things. When I was in college I took nightly walks almost daily. I’d just wander around the UT campus when no one was around and it was the most effective therapy I could ask for. I miss that. I won’t dare to walk around Vegas at night.

   So yesterday I sprawled out on my beanbag (love that thing!) with my cat Sunny by my feet and my iPod onepeating Coldplay’s “Fix You” and read from beginning to end Ender’s Game. I’ve had some friends that have suggested reading that book for years now and I wish I listened to them earlier. An amazing read. A loveable and compassionate character and a novel that was thought provoking. I don’t think I’ve ever read  a novel in one sitting, but that’s because I’ve never had the energy or free time to actually do so. It’s one of my goals to read more and I’m happy to say I’ve done so lately. Can’t think of a better way to spend a Sunday

More later…

Another Vegas Day…

   I wake up Monday after 1:00 pm and Fausto and Brett (he’s staying with us until July) have already started their daily online session. I’ve really been slacking as far as playing poker goes so far. In fact, Brett will play more Sit N Go’s (tourney) online today than I have in the entire month of June. Of course, it helps that he plays 20 tables at once (compared to 8-10 by me); he epitomizes what an online grinder is.

 

   See, here’s the thing. Everybody talks about the poker millionaires and the stars that came out of nowhere to make it big. They also talk about the degenerates, the people that threw their life away at some sick game. However, they fail to address the middleman and the grinders and to be honest, that encompasses 90% of all poker pros.

 

   Well Brett, Fausto and I – we’re grinders. We make our profit by volume, with lots and lots of poker tournaments every month. Thousands of small edges pushed everyday. When you play 20 tables at once, 6 hours a day like Brett, luck barely plays a factor. Mathematically, your earn will converge with your theoretical win rate.

  

   I walk into Brett’s room to observe and the first thing he tells me is that he’s getting killed. He’s down $400 and the day has barely started. He’s a vocal player. Many times I am awoken from a nap when he yells “Donkey!” at the computer screen after a win or when he yells a timely “God damn, I run so bad” when things go wrong. It’s almost comical. Contrast that to Fausto’s attitude, which is to laugh at everything that goes horribly wrong. Whatever works, right?

 

   Brett looks up at me and asks, “What should I do here? Fold right?” He has QQ, but there are 3 all-ins in front of him. Brett is a solid player, but probably errs on the side of caution too much. As in, he does not push his edge when he’s a slight favorite. Fausto has recently been semi-lecturing him on folding the best hand too often. I want to say that he probably still has enough equity to justify calling with QQ (because of the specific situation), but I don’t say anything. Brett ends up folding what would have been the best hand.

 

   “Damn, that sucked,” he says. “Please don’t tell Fausto I folded.”

 

   I head to the living room to tell Fausto. However, Fausto is busy with one of the best sessions since the move. He’s deep in no fewer than five tournaments. I observe for awhile before leaving him alone. I need to start playing soon.

 

   While it is always a future dream to play at a final table in the World Series of Poker, the reality is right now we’re low stakes players. And that is fine really, because even at the low stakes you can make a handsome profit. And even at the low stakes (and even in the cyber world), you meet a lot of regulars ranging from professionals to recreational players. For instance there’s “imcastleman,” a small stakes legend that makes over $10,000 monthly from playing $20 tournaments. There’s also this cab driver that lived in Chicago with the online handle of “Wickss79.” He supposedly quit his job because gas prices went up so he could play online poker. His story became really popular in the online poker forums and he eventually got some great advice from some of the better players. This year he has played over 11,000 games with a profit of barely $1 a game. Now, that’s grinding!

 

   I do a lot of thinking today. I realize that I don’t want any glory or to strike it rich from poker. All I ever wanted was to live my dream. I crave the freedom that poker has provided me. I can travel when I want, sleep when I want and just set my own daily schedule. I think I’m at the point of my life where I can afford to make this move and take a chance. I have no real responsibility except to myself. So whether I develop the skill to move up or not is irrelevant simply because I’m doing what I’m passionate about. I love studying this “simple” game of poker and improving everyday. I love reading heaps and heaps of books, observing better players play and just thinking about the game. I love the camaraderie I have developed with Fausto and then Brett. I’ve always believed you can’t strive for something simply for monetary gain; true success will come from what you’re passionate about and for me, that’s poker.

 

   Fausto and I leave to meet with some friends that have just flown in from San Antonio. We end up watching them drink their body weight in alcohol and play guitar hero at one of Treasure Island’s lounges. It’s a fantastic day. It’s also a great change of pace to see some friendly faces and we probably have one of the more fun nights since arriving here.

 

   When we return around 2 A.M, Brett has just finished playing. He’s up almost $1500 and smiling from ear to ear. Just another typical day for a grinder.